Fantasy Friday: Dwight Howard vs. Jessica Biel (poll)

by on Aug.13, 2010, under Other

Dwight Howard vs. Jessica Biel

Dwight Howard vs. Jessica Biel: Who ya got? (Keith Allison, Maggiejumps/Flickr)

It’s Friday again, so you know what that means: another Fantasy Friday fray.

If you’re unaware of the premise of this new tradition, head on back to last week’s inaugural matchup between Dwyane Wade and Jessica Alba, which Ms. Alba won.

This week we continue the custom with a battle of brawn: Dwight Howard vs. Jessica Biel.

Let’s get the obvious similarity out of the way: they’re both jacked. But what else do these two have in common? We’ll explore this question by briefly discussing Ms. Biel’s “talents,” with some parallels to Howard’s [in brackets].

Jessica [Howard] has a muscular build [ditto] and, at least in the eyes of some, a smoking-hot figure. However, her noteworthy endowments seem to end there. Sure, she’s good at what she does — looking good [rebounding, blocking] — but that alone can’t make her an all-time great in Hollywood [fantasy basketball]. Her apparent inability to act [shoot free throws] or discern bad scripts from good ones [turnovers] severely weighs down her stock [fantasy value]. So her appeal is limited to her looks: some dudes don’t mind a lady with a strapping physique [H2H] while others think it’s too manly [roto]. But even in the first group, there are some with fussy tastes that wish there was a little more to Ms. Biel’s alluring exterior.

Oh, the difficulty of evaluating such flawed professionals. So the question is, who would you rather watch: Dwight Howard lead your fantasy team as a top-12 pick, or Jessica Biel act in…anything? Vote in the poll below and let us hear your thoughts in the comments section.

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